Lost Dreams
by the mythologist
Summary: Ogami, Toki, Yuuki and Rui undergo a dream experiment that could make them powerful enough to withstand the rare blood stones...and come to some long overdue realizations. Generally romance, although there will be some serious moments. Spoilers for Ch. 204. Sakura/Ogami; Kouji/Rui, Yuuki/Toki
1. Chapter 1: Experiment

**Title: **Lost Dreams

**Author: **the_mythologist

**What I do not own: **Code:Breaker

**Pairings: **Kouji/Rui; Sakura/Ogami; Yuuki/Toki (kind of. You'll see.)

**Ratings: **T, although it may raise in later chapters for language

**Timeline/****Spoilers: **Up to 204. If you haven't gotten there yet, Zed implants rare blood stones into Yuuki, Toki, and Rui and it causes them to immediately transform into their Lost forms. Zed then tells Ogami that he has already given the key to the 6th flame form to Mishiru, who also has achieved all Ogami's other flame forms. You can imagine how _that_ goes over...

I wanted this to be a loose setup for some shameless romance, but due to the nature of the characters I'm not sure how it turned out. You shall judge!

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**Prologue: The Gambit**

There were five solemn faces around Shibuya's dining room table that night. Seven, if you counted Yuuki (who was a cat) and Rui (who was technically in the bath, but feeling quite serious nonetheless). Their encounter with Zed earlier that day had taken a lot of out of them, and even though Sakura had done her best to liven up the atmosphere, there was no helping the doom hanging over the group. Finally Heike could take it no longer.

"Please. It's not like this is an insurmountable obstacle. You two," pointing at Toki and the red cat currently curled up in his lap, "and Rui simply need to grow stronger, and get accustomed to housing a receptacle of rare blood. And Ogami merely needs to wrest the key from Mishiru. Done and done."

Toki scowled, and stopped absent-mindedly stroking the cat in his lap. Consequently, Yuuki stopped purring and began paying attention. "Oh yes, it's all _so_ simple. That will take _time_, Heike. What are we supposed to do in the meantime, if Mishiru or my father attacks?"

Yuuki yawned widely and began shifting on Toki's lap. "Yeah, what he said. What if it takes us a long time? Like weeks? Or two days? Besides, I don't think Ruirui likes being in the tub that much. She splashes me when I go in there."

The argument continued, but Sakura ignored it in favor of sneaking a glance at Ogami. Since he had learned of Zed's folly, he had been stony faced and silent. Facing an old friend was hard, but perhaps that wasn't the total problem. After all, the key Mishiru possessed was to the Lust demon, and Ogami had (albeit in his youth and under mistaken notions of what matrimony actually entailed) proposed to her. Mishiru was undeniably a beautiful, if dangerous, woman. What if there was another danger no one was prepared for? What if she lost him – they all lost him – to Mishiru and his old (hypothetical) feelings for her?

Sakura bit her lip. She had come so _far_ with Ogami! Now he _accepted_ her love, and although he claimed he couldn't be her family, she understood it was not by choice. He certainly didn't hate her, and he had acted _very_ oddly when she kissed him... They even slept together still, and while it was chaste, it showed how comfortable he was with her, and how much he accepted her. Judging from where they had come it was a miracle. Would it all be destroyed when Ogami faced his old friend?

Sakura was so deep in thought she hadn't noticed the two men carefully watching her. Ogami had noticed her frowns and worried glances, but was surprised at her silence. Surely the time had come for one of her stirring speeches, or silly family-bonding activities? That she was too worried even for that made _him_ nervous. His feelings for her had long spiraled out of his control, and although he would not admit it to her, he had progressed far beyond the bounds of friendship. He knew what jealousy was, after all, and he was a possessive man by nature. He couldn't be her lover, however. That was ingrained into every inch of his life. If he couldn't be there with her, however, he could at the least protect her...and right now, something was very wrong with her. But what? Was she simply worried for her friends? Or was it somehow connected to Mishiru?

The other man observing Sakura was older and wiser, and had a much better idea of what was going on. She was his daughter, after all, and he knew well the ways of women.

"Well if you don't like my plans then I suppose I will have to have another one. It will include this rope, yourself, and a bottle of-"

"Heike, no! Put down the rope! I didn't mean it! I'm only a six-year-old what are you even going to do-"

Shibuya stood and stopped the mayhem in its tracks. "Of course, there is a way to speed up the process. At least in the Prince's, Toki-kun's and Yuuki-kun's cases. Of course, Ogami is free to try the experiment as well, although it won't directly help his cause. It could still be a valuable training exercise, however!"

The proclamation stopped even Heike in his tracks. "Experiment? Shibuya-san, you can't mean-"

"Of course! It's been a long time since I've had to use the dream training. But I think it's just the thing to give them all an extra bit of resolve!" Shibuya faced the rest of the table. "What do you all think? Would you like to try?"

Yuuki mrowled enthusiastically, but Toki was more careful. "What is it? What will we need to do?"

Behind his mask, Shibuya smiled widely. "Dream, of course! That is all. You will face three tests in your dream, and if you pass them your strength, understanding, and resolve will all receive a boost! With luck it will be enough to master the blood stones within you. So? What will it be?"

Cautiously, Toki nodded. Adorably, Yuuki did the same.

"Good! Now if you will excuse me, I have to prepare the serum. If someone would tell Prince...?" Sakura nodded and stood, knowing what the consequence would be were a man to enter Rui's bathroom. "Thank you, Sakura. The rest of you finish eating and prepare. Tonight will be a busy night for all of you...and I wish you all very beneficial dreams."

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A little while later, as Rui, Yuuki, and Toki were just heading off to bed, two men met in a quiet corner of the mansion.

"Are you sure about this, Ogami-kun? Indeed, in your case it may just be better to get a good night's sleep...after all, there won't be a power boost for you."

"I will be fine. Your daughter won't leave me alone until I've undertaken bonding activities with those three anyway, so I might as well get it out of the way now. Besides, I'm always up for a challenge."

"Of course. But there is something...well, it's probably nothing, but I suppose I could mention it. Just to be safe. There's a slight chance that Sakura may be affected by your dream. Indeed, neither of you have a blood stone to act as a locus for the experiment, so due to your -_ehem_- proximity when you sleep, she may end up experiencing whatever it is you do. Keep that in mind, Ogami-kun." The unspoken passed between the two – _do not let her come to harm._

There was a lazy, dangerous smile on Ogami's face that underscored his own nonverbal sentiment. _Of course I won't. Just who do you think I am? "_Of course, Shibuya-san. Trust me, Sakurakouji-san's safety is never far from my thoughts...her impetuous actions keep me sharp, after all."

With a suspicious glance to the younger man _he had built this house himself, and of course he knew exactly where his daughter slept at night, and how surprisingly difficult it had been for Ogami to reject her notion of family _Shibuya left to prepare the final steps of the experiment.

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**I realize that I have not written for the fandom in a while...but it was my first, and I cannot deny my roots. I also just read about 50 chapters of the manga and inspiration was everywhere. **_**Everywhere. **_**So there may be more to come, just saying. Apart from the fic, I mean. Enjoy!****  
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** If you have stumbled in from my Soul Eater fics, surprise! Hope you liked this too ;) **

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** Regardless, s****end me some love, friends. (It feels good to be home).**


	2. Chapter 2: Rui's Dream

**I don't own Code:Breaker**

**Posting this a bit early in honor of Chapter 205, in which ZED TOTALLY CALLS IT. Oh man. I doubt Rouji will ever become canon...but I can dream. And 205 makes me happy...so here we go!**

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**Dream One: Shadows in the Void**

Even before she opened her eyes she knew it was snowing. She could feel the cold kiss of it on her skin, and knew it was not going to be a good dream. All her dreams that featured snow were linked to Kouji and the night she left the Re:Code. Even though he had since then wandered back into her life, there was still a poignant sense of farewell associated with snow, and it almost was enough to keep her eyes firmly shut. Yet she dimly knew this dream was important, and she was not the kind of woman to hide from the difficult moments. So she opened her eyes, knowing she would see Kouji's scarred, familiar face-

-and was instead met with Heike's smirk. "Good evening, Rui."

"Heike! You're not- what are _you_ doing here?"

"Just enjoying the scenery. You weren't expecting someone _else_, were you?"

Rui jerked her head from side to side, wondering how Heike could possibly know. He would hate her more for it, whether it was intentional or not. Ambiguous as Heike was, he was definitive on his dislike of the Re:Code, and no matter how honorable Kouji was as a person, he belonged to that subset. But this was_ her_ dream, wasn't it? This wasn't actually Heike, and if she willed it he would treat her better than he ever would awake-

"But enough of this chit chat. Time is, after all, of the essence. You do know where you are, don't you?"

Rui scowled. "Of course I do. This is _my_ dream, isn't it?"

Heike's eyes flashed with a sinister light as he smiled. "You are in a coma, Rui. Eden attacked at dinner. While you lay helplessly in the bathtub, battle was fought downstairs. No need to worry – Rei and Sakura escaped to safety, along with Shibuya-san and myself. As for Toki-kun and Yuuki-kun...well. In their weakened states they could neither escape, nor fight. They are dead. If you do not wake up from this 'dream,' you will soon join them."

Rui stared at him in shock. Yet as she did awareness hit, and memories filtered in. Screams and howls, the building had been shaken to its foundations. The panic and desperation at being trapped without legs, and the sickening fall as the tub fell through a newly opened hole in the floor...

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," Rui whispered, clutching her face as she tried to make sense of this. "No, it can't be. It _can't._ How did Eden find us? How did they reform so quickly? Dead? They can't be dead. Toki and Yuuki...they _can't be dead_."

"It would seem as if you failed them, Rui. Or was being the Great Protector Goddess all for nothing?"

Rui glared at him through her fingers yet the tears were already flowing. "No. There was nothing I could _do_. I couldn't – oh god. _No. _ Yuuki, Toki..."

"You are in quite the quandary. Eden now has your body, and if you awaken you will no doubt be reprogramed and used by the enemy. That leaves us a very limited range of options. Will you awaken and rise against us? Or will you choose to die here, and protect those of us who remain."

Rui stared at him in shock. How had it come to this? How could this possibly be happening? Yet as he spoke she saw the truth of his words. Of course Eden had her, and they had the technology and the will to grind her personality into dust. As the one remaining Shadow user that could bring down Rei they would do anything to use her. Her very existence was a threat to him.

"Will you submit, Rui? I can make this quick and painless...you will die a hero, protecting those you have sworn to save."

But was it that simple? Would her death truly protect Rei? After all, Sagishimono had sent her into enemy hands just to keep him alive. And there was something else, something she was forgetting...Her friends. Kouji and Yukihina, Sakura and Rei. Would they truly leave her to languish in the hands of the enemy? And would her Dark side allow her to possessed, as Saechika's had?

She had let Yuuki and Toki _die._ She had _failed._ How could she live on, knowing that? What would they want her to do?

"Well, Rui? What will it be?"

Rui had bowed her head in thought, and the struggle within her was too great for her to immediately find her voice. But the thought of Toki and Yuuki had finally knocked her mind into the right place, and she spoke with conviction. "No. I will not die here. Nor will I give up. If I did so, I would be failing everyone – I swore to protect them, and even if all I can do is protect their memories and their resolves, I will do so. I will fight every man, woman, and child in Eden to get back to Rei, and when I do so _then_ I will mourn Toki and Yuuki. I will _not_ give up here, Heike. No matter what happens tomorrow."

Heike merely smiled that infuriating, enigmatic smile. "Well done, Rui. That is the strength of your resolve...and I see you have learned to let go of the chains of the past. Good luck." Without a word of warning, Heike then tore his protective jacket from his body. Rui threw up her arms but there was no blocking the wall of light bearing down on her. There was no escape. The light was upon her-!

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Something cold and wet caught in her eyelashes, and Rui opened her eyes to see snow fluttering down around her. So it would be one of _those_ dreams...although the inclusion of the odd blobs of light – like a memory of a camera's bright flash – was new. Yet it was night, as it always was for these dreams, and soon Kouji would be standing in front of her. Then she would have to walk away from him yet again. How many more times must her psyche make her do this?

"Ahh, Rui. So you _did_ come. I was beginning to worry."

Rui's eyes widened as Yukihina's body formed from the concentrated efforts of falling snow. Oh. Well, _that_ actually made sense. "Er, hello, Yuki. Why were you worried?" And was it just her, or did all this seem impossibly familiar?

"Worried for you, of course. You know, with the stone and all. And it killing you."

"Huh?" For some odd reason, she wasn't worried in the slightest. She popped off the top of her flask with her thumb (it was originally a screw off top, but she'd only owned it an hour before she had ended _that_) and took a moderate swig.

"You're dying, Rui. You lost the fight. You weren't strong enough, and now your body has given up. These are the dream of the dying, Rui. Haven't you realized that by now?"

Rui sputtered, coughing up the smooth bourbon. How...how could she have forgotten? The weeks of fighting the stone's effect, languishing away in the bathtub. Sakura's pep talks, and Rei's quiet watchfulness, as well as Toki and Yuuki's own battles with the rare blood stones. Yet now it was all coming back to her.

"I...can't be dying. No, not yet-"

"You've been dying for weeks, Rui. You can't seriously want to fight _more._ It's too late, your body is broken." Here, Yukihina stretched out his arms, as if preparing to give her a hug. "I came to say goodbye, Rui. So c'mere. Say goodbye."

The flask shook in Rui's hand. This was...this was _wrong. _ Yuki would never say goodbye like this. More importantly, this wasn't how she was supposed to die! She was supposed to fall in battle, only _after_ protecting Rei and all her friends.

...and she couldn't die without seeing _him_ one last time. She had denied herself so much – a normal life, happiness, stability, a family – yet she couldn't deny herself him. He was all the family she had, now, and she was determined to see his scarred, perfect face one last time.

"Rui?"

Rui's set her jaw in stubborn determination. "Absolutely not. I am _not_ dying in a dream! I don't care if I kill myself doing it, but I will _protect_ them, Yukihina! I will _not_ fail, and I don't care how close to death I am! My body will simply have to take it until I can _fulfill my purpose."_

_ "_Is that your final decision? To just...not die until you have protected them?"

Rui blew a stray bang that fell across her face. "Let me put it this way, my friend. I will protect Rei and our friends every day of my life. If I have to move heaven and earth to do so, I will. If I have to do it while powerless...I _will."_

Yukihina's smile was as beautiful and unexpected as a clear sky in winter. "I knew you could do it, Rui. Just one more to go. Then we can meet in real life and you can make me more banana smoothies."

"Wait, what? Yuki-"

The snow swirled around her at an alarming rate and she had to close her eyes to block the stinging flakes. Yet as she did so there was a roaring in her ears as if she were rushing through a tunnel and then-

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"Welcome home, my comrade."

Paradoxically, there was no snow this time. Rui wasn't sure what she was comparing this dream to, but the feeling was pervasive. There was no time for any extraneous thought, however. There never was when she dreamed of Kouji – every moment with him, whether real or imaginary was far too precious to squander.

"Hello, Kouji." And then, because it felt oddly correct, "Were you waiting for me?"

He smiled and dipped his head. When his hand found his hip, Rui felt something roil deep in her belly. She consequently wondered why the sight of him was affecting her so much – she had missed him so much more when she was originally working as a Re:Code...why should the sight of him now tie her stomach in knots?

"I have a question for you, Rui. Do you have time for me?"

Rui wondered why Kouji was being so formal and strange...and why he wouldn't look he directly in the eye. "Of course I do. What is it?"

"I need you to tell me: what is most important to you?"

Rui frowned. Didn't he already know? He knew her better than anyone else...he had _raised_ her for darkness' sake! "To protect. Rei, our friends, you...anyone who lies within my sight, and my purpose."

He took a few steps closer to her so that he could catch a lock of her long hair. It was only when he did so that she realized it was currently as long as it had been when she had called herself a member of the Re:Code. He had once asked her to grow her hair long, and she hadn't cut it again until she thought she was riven from him forever. But in dreams they were together again, weren't they?

"Tell me why, Rui. Why must you always protect? Why can't someone protect _you?" _His voice was deep and soft, and when compared to his normal gravel tone it made her heart leap in her chest. She could remember every instance Kouji had used this voice with her as it made her think of dark sheets and dimly lighted rooms, red wine and unguarded eyes. Naive and bashful as she was, there were moments when even she could feel the primal pull of sexual attraction, and every time it had ever happened – whether in a bar, glancing over her shoulder as she tucked in Hiyori, riding behind him on his bike, or even during one hectic mission – it had always been with Kouji.

Yet she would not let this sidetrack her, even when he was standing this close to her, and being so sweet to her. "Because I am the protector. I have this power so that I _can_ protect everyone, and after losing my family, I will not fail again. I cannot fail again. It is my purpose and my life, you know this. You have enabled me to do all this! And besides I..." She trailed off, suddenly hesitant to admit the core of her reasoning. It was not something she thought about in battle – then it was all-encompassing, abstract determination – but now that she had to put it into words, there was a far simpler way of putting it. It was embarrassing, however. Especially when Kouji was still threading his fingers through her hair.

"Besides what, my Rui?"

It was a mixture of this rare endearment, the warmth of his body and the comfort it provided, and the gentle yet sensual pull of his fingers through her hair that allowed her to admit it. "I swore it to you."

Rui was not too far gone to miss the sudden tightening in his fingers, nor the flash of interest in his dark eyes. "And why is that important?"

She made the mistake of looking into his eyes and was lost. There was no embarrassment in her dreams, and only here could she admit her heart's sacred truth. "Because _you_ are important. You have made me what I am, and shaped what I want to become. To me...you are everything. All I want is to live, fight, and die at your side; I always want to make you proud, always..." Here Rui's confidence gave out and she shyly ducked her head, "...want you to think of me."

Slender fingers tugged at her chin, causing Rui to look up. "And I always do, Rui. More than you know. More than you could ever guess." Slowly, he traced a gentle line across her cheek with the pad of his thumb, and Rui shivered in response. Here was _that_ voice again, so rich and full of promise, now coupled with dark, wide eyes whose expression made warmth pool between her thighs.

"Kouji? What-"

"Now tell me one last thing, my Rui. Do you love me?"

She breathed in his scent – a calming mix of soap, blood, and whiskey – on her shocked inhale. Yet she was not nearly as frightened as she'd be in waking life. This was _Kouji,_ her mentor, savior, and comrade, and it was not as if she did not already know the answer to his question. Admitting it awake was one thing, but in dreams...perhaps she could finally give in. So before she lost her nerve, Rui stood up on her toes to brush her lips against the scar circling his left eye. It was only there that she found the courage to respond, whispering _yes _into his eyelashes.

His mouth captured hers before her heels hit the floor. The sheer rush of feeling was indescribable – Rui had never known time could fragment from emotion alone. Yet his mouth was moving against hers, and the pleasure of this dictated that she meet his challenge, so she opened up and kissed him back. For a moment it was all madness and bliss; soft lips and heated breaths, and her thoughts went no further than processing the feel of his mouth against hers. Before she could fully absorb the experience, however, Kouji pulled back. He rested his forehead on hers, breathing deeply, holding himself back. Rui opened her mouth to say anything and everything that might make him continue, but he spoke first.

"Congratulations, my comrade. You have passed. Your resolve and purpose is unshaken, and you have learned to look clearly at yourself, letting go of your denial. You will only become stronger from now on."

The dream was crumpling at the edges, like the burnt edges of the photographs Rei hides in his bedroom. Rui reached out to Kouji, but he was already beyond her grasp.

"Wake now. And I await your kiss in life, _my Rui_-"

The darkness swirled around her against her commands, obscuring Kouji's face as he spoke those final words. There was only a moment more before the shadows compacted, and in that last moment Rui felt something burn bright and hot in her heart, almost like a star was erupting within her.

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Rui awoke with the irrational belief that Kouji would be by her side. Yet even before she opened her eyes she knew he was not. There was a consolation, however, in knowing that she had clearly passed Shibuya's test. She was in a bed, after all, and she could feel new power thrumming through her veins. So she allowed herself a weak smile before she dashed the tears from her eyes.

She would see him again, now that she had overcome the power of the rare blood stone.

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**There will probably be******** more (MORE) Rouji coming along in the future, as I love them too much to let go. Even though he raised her, and in most other cases that would be creepy. I just love them.**

** But it won't be this lovey for everyone. I'm sure you can guess who the other big pairing is, but there may be a bit of a surprise in store. Next up is Toki's, however, and there ain't no romance in that one, I am about all the way sure. **


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